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Family, sabotage & hot cross buns…

So, the other week I asked the ladies in our private support group the following:

“On a scale of 1-1000, how hard are you on yourself?”

And we had a range of responses, from 600 to 1001 (which is off the chart), and some saying how they’ve gone from a 900 to more of a 400. 

But I then got this message shortly after from one of the ladies:

“I’m actually enjoying this group. I never thought I would after never have done anything like this before. But it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one thinking like this”

And it just so happens that support and accountability is one of the most important things in helping you get fit, healthy, and more toned. 

I’m not saying that it can’t be done alone. It can. But it is bloody hard…

And surrounding yourself with similar, like minded people all working towards the same goal?

Well, the results speak for themselves.

But what I will just touch on a question I had the other day:

“Matt, how do you deal with family and friends who say ‘you’re fine the way you are’ . ‘just have one’. ‘I made this for you’.”

And it’s something I see A LOT.

Which is exactly why we’ve have our super simple Meal Makers and Habit nutrition system to help you:

1) Have a life where you’re not banning the foods you love (and craving them more)

2) Have some routine with your days so you can allow for the treats

3) Have ‘normal’, simple meals which don’t require a load of preparation and that the WHOLE family will eat so you don’t have to cook separate ‘diet’ meals…

But  I also want to go one better for you..

On how you can stop friends / family sabotaging your efforts and results..

I did a video on this exact topic here:

but if you’d prefer to read, see below:

1.GET THE FACTS → when we define that someone else is sabotaging us, we need to get the facts:

Example: “my husband bought hot cross buns and I love them, so I had one. So not good”

^^ a message I got.

Now consider this:

  1. If you ate a wholemeal, seeded bun, how do you feel? What are your thoughts about your food?
  2. If you ate a hot cross bun, how do you feel? What are your thoughts about your food?

Take a moment..

Notice your thoughts..

Now consider that a hot cross bun is 155 calories 

And a wholemeal seeded bun is 199 calories.

My point?

Often, it is our thoughts about the thing that’s the issue

Rather than the thing itself. 

2. Plan them in →  There are psychosocial benefits of being able to enjoy food with family and friends..

This is underestimated.

And something I talk about a lot.

I mean, if you went all in 100% with your food, you would not be happy (but you think you would)

You’d be eating chicken and broccoli..

And feeling deprived.


Flip this

And you DEFINE when you will be a bit more flexible / what foods you want to have

It becomes a PART of your plan

Rather than 

“F it, I may as well give up”

^^ more on that tomorrow

3.They just CARE → They want to include you. And we want to be included. That is human nature. 

Coming from an Italian background.





That is how we show love..

Now, of course.

You could account for it using points 1 and 2..

And enjoy it.

That is all good.

And can be a part of your plan..

But at the same time

If you have a goal

And you want to achieve that goal but it is not happening right now…

And it means a lot to you..

Just consider whether doing something to please someone else is more important?

^^^ no judgement, just answer that question

They just want you to be happy.

But if every time you do it, you -rightly or wrongly – beat yourself up for a day ..

That is HALF of your life you spend beating yourself up …

^^ read that again. 

We say we are different 

And do what makes us happy 

But then say ‘ yes’ to pleasing others at the expense of ourselves…

My point here?

Do what makes you happy…

Communicate how you feel.

And try this if you just don’t want it:

“I really fancy a coffee actually, could you get me a coffee”

^could be any drink. And gives them an opportunity just to get you something..

We often blame others

But maybe we just haven’t communicated with them

4.Everyone is doing their best for them →   remember that what you are doing is sometimes shining a light on what your friend / family is NOT doing…

And that can hurt…

So if they hear you are exercising 

And feeling motivated?

That might bring their attention to the fact they are not.

They don’t mean to put you down…

But it can make themselves feel better

By maybe saying ‘you are fine the way you are’ etc…

But the thing is…

If you are told ‘you should be happy the way you are’

But you are not happy?

Where do you go from there?

It almost silences the optimistic, excitable part of the brain 

Which gets you started on achieving something new and exciting..

In fact, we are seeing this now with Type 2 diabetes..

The low calorie diets

The lifestyle changes.

Have shifted our language from ‘it is a progresssive disease and there is nothing you can do”


“It is a progressive disease but if you do xyz you COULD put it in remission and come off certain medications”

And just by knowing this?

Makes us try things that maybe we wouldn’t have done..

Then we build momentum 

Start feeling better.

More confident 

Seeing results

And we’re off. 

And that brings me to this:

Do what makes you happy 🙂

And it sure helps if you surround yourself with like minded people, facing similar challenges, sharing their experiences…

Speaking of which, we are gearing up to add our ladies only outside sessions back to our Kickstart programme

To go alongside our Home Kickstart programme from 29th March (with inside sessions at our private studio back from 12th April)

If you’d like to see if we can help, just send over a message and I’ll get you the details.