“I won’t succeed, so I may as well give up”
I covered something the other day with a few of the ladies in our Fit For Life programme so I thought I’d share a bit here as I got loads of messages about it…:
“I see lots of people (not just in health and fitness)
and me included…
moan about PROBLEMS.
And I guess this can be expected ..
We were taught that problems are ‘bad’..
Just the word can make us feel anxious..
But feelings of stress, anxiety and worry
Are past and future issues
We are in the future or the past
Rather than the present..
^^ the only thing that exists…
And something that comes up a lot when I work with people
Is that
“I’ve never done it before, so I can’t do it now”
“I won’t keep the weight off, as I lost weight but put it all back on”
And it’s like me saying to my 2 year old daughter..
You had an accident potty training
You may as well stay in nappies for the rest of your life…
But infact..
The feeling of having an accident potty training
Is probably fundamental in getting them to learn…
Which just reiterates that
the part of the evolution of becoming more successful as a person is understanding that problems are good…
As they lead to the breakthrough..
In fact, people who are more successful..
Have failed more times.
So you could say
“I’m weak. I can’t do it” when you have a so called ‘bad day’
OR
You could say “I’m strong because I’m getting closer to cracking this”
Sure, you might feel worse at the time…but you could DO better..
WTF Matt ?
Hear me out a sec.
✔ The more problems you encounter, the more opportunity you have to solve them and therefore learn and get better results (as you learn what works for you)
✔ The bigger the problems you solve the higher the reward and the better you feel
✔ As long as you learn from each problem and do not keep making the same mistakes over and over then you will continually be learning new skills.
Given the very obvious benefits, how about being proactive and seeking them out?
Yep, that is what we do.
Why?
Because there is a process in place:
1 Unidentified Problems
2 Identified Problems – No Plan
3 Identified Problems – With Plan
4 Solved Problems
Most people prefer to be unaware of the problems that exist. Which can have fatal consequences.
This is why having stuff in place like:
* knowing what you’re actually doing with your food, fitness and self care every day to put yourself first
* making sure you remind yourself of what you’re doing well every single day…how else can you expect to feel confident and stop focussing on the stuff you didn’t do?
* asking yourself why you’re doing this and remind yourself WHY every day…like what’s the actual point? what makes you happy?
* Are you doing one thing that makes you feel good every day?
* Understanding the question: What are you willing to do and when to get to where you want to be?
…….is SO IMPORTANT…….because you can identify a problem quickly.
Once identified you move to step 3 and put a plan in place.
Then move to step 4 and solve it.
If you don’t and there is a problem
then the danger is that it manifests without you knowing…
and the worse case scenario is you give up, blaming yourself, putting yourself down, without realising that there are some super powerful small habits that if you do?
Will – at the very least – make you feel better…which has a domino effect for your eating and exercise habits 🙂
Like anything, the more you practice the better you get.
Don’t let emotions run high when problems arise. [which is what I used to do]
Apply the process above.
And trust yourself to solve it…even if that means asking for help from others, family, the ladies in here (and me of course)
It can feel like you’re the only one thinking this way sometimes…
So surround yourself with a few winners – that always helps as well.
And this is actually again why I’m sharing this…
as one of you said to me today just how amazing it is to see other ladies sometimes not feel motivated, help each other if they are having a bad day, and being OK with that…rather than thinking you must be the only one who sometimes wakes up demotivated and can’t be bothered..
and this is enough to help keep them going…
Something they have never done for this long…”
Matt ‘problems are your friends’ Fruci