If you’ve ever bought anything from Amazon before
You’d have heard non-stop about Black Friday
And yesterday…Cyber Monday
Amazon have your back covered
Or perhaps I should say ‘BUTT’ covered?
Especially when referring to ‘sugar free’ gummy bears
Ever seen them?
A member on my Fit For Life Body Transformation Programme sent me a link to a review for them on Amazon
^^^ We now joke because she used to eat EVERY ‘sugar free’ and ‘fat free’ product going (which meant she ate MORE of them…)
I can guarantee this review she saw on Amazon will put a smile on your face (even if it’s only Tuesday):
“The Gummi Bear “Cleanse”
Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.
Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.
I still had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.
Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.
Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can’t imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.
If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don’t post a video review during the aftershocks.”
I’ll stick to your standard gummy bears.
And won’t be rushing to Amazon to get my sugar free gummy bears
In fact, I probably won’t be rushing to Amazon for anything
Because things are a little different this Christmas.
I’ve already bought ALL of my Christmas presents.
^^^ none of which were sugar free gummy bears…
You see, I usually leave it to the last minute
Get frustrated with everyone else leaving it to the last minute
End up giving up
Buying over-priced ‘chewing gum’ gifts
^^ You know the ones that are great for all of 2 days?
And exactly the same applies when trying to lose weight (and keep it OFF)
^^^ which is what you want, right?
We put it off
Wait for that illusive ‘perfect’ moment
When you’ll have zero birthday parties to go
No meals out
No child care
NO LIFE (by the sounds of it)
Which of course…
And surprise, surprise… nothing changes
^^^ Unless you try one of those 3 day diets on January 1st, of course 😉
So by doing this, you are essentially choosing NOT to ditch the love handles, feel more confident in your favourite clothes, and ditch the bloating (not to mention get Christmas gifts that last no more than 3 days…)
^^^ Read that again
Matt ‘strangely organised’ Fruci
PS. I’m opening up my Fit For Life Body Transformation programme again to take on 1 member before Christmas.
To apply, go here: https://frucifit.com/free7daytrial/ (Applications close Friday 9th December)
And no, this isn’t one of those gummy bear cleanses 😉