So our youngest daughter (now 6 months)
has been pretty reliant on a dummy to get to sleep..
It was a lifesaver at the start, If I’m honest.
No two babies are the same for sure…
And I know it’s maybe not ‘perfect’, but needs must..
It meant she slept for a little bit 😂😂
But since weaning her..
She’s been much more settled..
And the main reason she was waking up at night was because her dummy kept falling out…
So every time
We’d go back in and put her dummy back in.
But the thing is
She was never learning to self settle herself…
and it turns out that what was once providing her with comfort…
Was not actually stopping her from sleeping..
So we did a bit of Googling (as you do)
And it turns out that the longer you keep the dummy ?
The more they develop an emotional relationship with it
and they actually become more reliant on it.
To the extent that many parents have used the ‘dummy fairy’ story as a way of taking it away for good…
And on day 5 of going cold turkey?
So far, so good…
But it just got me thinking about the ‘dummy’s’ in our lives…
that we have to make us ‘feel better’
Be it drink, food, moaning, work, comfort eating…
Whatever we do. In fact, everything we decide to do is to try and make ourselves feel better.
Yet sometimes, we seem to trick ourselves into doing things that we ‘think’ will make us feel better..
Like, who really feels better after stress eating?
Why is this important?
How you FEEL impacts what you DO which impacts your RESULTS <<< and your results impact how you FEEL…
The thing is, if you feel better?
Everything is easier..
stress of life (that’s not going anywhere)
making healthier food choices
I could go on…
So unless you are focussing on doing more of the things you know will be make you feel better and happier?
Can you really expect to feel better?
After all, you get what you focus on…
So if you focus on how you don’t want to feel?
You’ll probably get more of that…
So instead of saying things like :
“when will stop feeling so tired”
“When will I stop feeling so anxious…”
Could you ask the question:
How do you want to feel?
And focus on that…
make a list of things that make you feel truly happy…
Like mine below and do at least ONE every, single day:
‘I feel happy when:
1. I kick a ball about with my daughter
2. I write a blog
3. I see friends
4. I go for a walk
5. I watch comedy
6. I go for a family day out
I could go on…
But I strongly recommend you do this list if you want to feel better
and make the things you know you need to do…
easier to do…
Because there’s actually something great about feeling a bit down in the dumps.
You see, it tells you what you need to do…
Here’s a real example I had:
“I feel fed up of going red and being nervous when I public speak so I need to seek help with someone to keep me accountable so I do it more and start small by putting my hand up in a lecture theatre and asking a simple question where I can’t be wrong”
And here’s one from last week:
“I feel fed up of this lingering cough so I need to listen to my body, slow down and get to bed by 10…rather than stay up and pretend I’m being productive…”
You see, when you truly dig deep into why you don’t do the things you know you need to do…
It probably comes down to your being scare of failing…
The fear of failure
Which in itself makes you feel rubbish…
So what if you make the excitement of actually accomplishing your goals
Sticking to something for long enough
more important than your fear of failure?
Wouldn’t it be fun to see what happens?
Matt ‘ditching the dummy’ Fruci