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Self Sabotage, Family, & wine and crisps

then the wine and crisps come out (sabotage)

It comes up a lot.

“I start the day with good intentions

But then the family bring out the wine and crisps..

I then just self sabotage and then it’s

‘what’s the point?’”

I do get it…

So I want to touch on TWO things

Firstly, self sabotage…

Which… the more I think about this

The more I believe that self-sabotage is not actually a thing –

Hear me out…

Because we don’t just “do something” for no reason.

 we do it because it’s 

A) convenient 

B ) it makes us feel good 

So why wouldn’t we do it?

Y’know 

Eating takeaway – convenient and tasty

Picking at biscuits – tastes good / takes us away from stress / boredom (albeit briefly)

Convincing ourselves that we can’t fit exercise in today…and that tomorrow will be easier..

^^^ all these things make us feel better (albeit short term…I would even argue that they are more exhausting than actually doing the thing we know we need to do)

By anyway…

What can you do instead?

create a pattern interrupt aka something to do instead that is also:   

A) convenient 

B ) something that makes us feel good 

This has to be YOUR pattern interrupt. 

Examples include: dancing, singing, sewing, a bath, reading, exercise (especially good if you feel “anger” or “anxiety”)

But the key part to this?

Is your WHY….

Something to pull you in the direction of understanding why you want to do it right now..(or not do it?

And to do this?

Grab a pen and paper

And write down the costs of doing it..

Some of  the ladies inside our programme 

have actually said to me that when they WRITE IT DOWN they feel stupid that they ever did it 🤔

 and still – occasionally – do it 

But they key part?

Self awareness.

And the fact that when you know the facts? The consequences?

Will you make a different decision.

And I get that you may think you can’t do it

Maybe you think you lack self belief

Or maybe you just feel you have to have certainty..

Certainty that it will work

That you can it all.

And with this?

We often put it all off.

Procrastinate

And stay the same.

And that’s the only thing guaranteed.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Finally…

when it comes to family getting the crisps and wine out to ‘sabotage’ you..

Consider this:

  1. Are you hungry? Eating too little in the day (even for me) makes you more likely to overeating in the evening. It just also happens that the foods we have access to in the evening are often higher calorie, easy to overeat foods. Are you getting protein in at each meal? 5 fruit and veg a day?
  • Don’t expect YOU from them – sometimes we expect others /loved ones to do exactly what you do and to support you 100%. This isn’t always the case. My advice? Speak to them. Tell them why you are doing, how you feel and why…
  • There’s a difference between saying “I can’t have that” vs “ I am choosing not to have that” – my point here is sometimes restricting something causes you to want it more. Giving yourself permission to have within boundaries creates certainty and confidence. For example, one of the ladies has REPLACED her daily drink with dinner (which she didn’t even want but was just poured for her) with a sparkling water and lemon and then has chosen and agreed with her other half to drink Friday and Saturday. Clear boundaries and she has replaced the habit..

I explain this in more detail here:

Matt “self sabotage?” Fruci

Ps. In case you didn’t know…

Our coaching programme only opens once a month

and it’s just open right now…

for our post lockdown 28 Kickstart specifically for ladies 40+ who want to finish 2020 fitter, more toned and healthier.

Can be done from home

Or with us in person at our private ladies only studios in Devizes and Marlborough

so if you’re ready?

CLICK HERE TO APPLY

Matt