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How to overcome self sabotage

How to overcome self sabotage 

“I can’t do it”

^^^ my 4 year old daughter said, whilst on the high ropes

And something I’m trying to teach her is to just ask for help

Rather than go into the ‘I can’t do it’ mode..

As it often results in frustration…

Just saying those words to yourself 

Literally puts you down…

Try it..

And often stops you even being able to make a rational decision. 

And it reminded me of when I was at Tae Kwon Doe..

I did pretty well in the end. even being asked to teach. 

Although I rarely did any teaching as I couldn’t get my words out. I was too nervous. 

Worried about what others were thinking. Didn’t like other looking at / or judging me. 

Would go bright red in the face…

Probably because I told myself 

‘I can’t do it’

When actually what I should have said was that

‘I can’t do it, yet”..

Anyway, we used to have this mantra:


And – of course – being only 12 at the time, I had no clue what this meant anyway. 

But what I’ve found to be true NOW after coaching hundreds of ladies

is that there’s a BIG step between ‘believe’ and ‘achieve’…

That step being…


Because here’s the thing:

Everyone has self-belief. 

Everyone has confidence. 

Whether they exercise every day, once a week or haven’t exercised in years. 

Whether they define themselves as  too old or too unfit… 

Everyone has confidence. 

The difference?

The THOUGHTS in your head you CHOOSE to believe at that moment in time..

Which will – eventually – determine what you do

And how you feel.

^^ just last week I felt rubbish and was putting myself down…the reality was that I was just a bit under the weather and tired…

You see…

I hear things like:

 ‘I have no willpower’. “I have no motivation’…

but what if I told you that it’s not a lack of willpower? 

But actually the thoughts you CHOOSE to believe?

Can I challenge you just for today to slow down and challenge your thoughts? Notice what you are CHOOSING to believe? 

Rather than fighting the fact you might be a bit tired…

Feel your feelings..

If you are tired?

What would your best self do to get more energy?

And – if you’re really ready for a challenge – I challenge you to take action WITHOUT having self-belief that you can do it?