I don’t want any ‘awwwwwwsss”’ or ‘oooooohhhhhhssss’ from this
But only for the last few years have I really had to remember Mother’s Day in a while
my mum passed away back in 2002 when I was 12
But today?
I’ve got an amazing wife who’s an amazing mum to my beautiful daughters
^^^ I’ve also got an amazing nan and mother-in-law
But my point today is this:
I truly believe that if you look closely enough and give it enough time
You can see a ‘positive’ in everything
And before you say what’s the positive in being made redundant or loved ones passing away..
I just want to say that I used to think that, too
Until I realised that nothing is bad unless you think it’s bad
You see, although my mum passing away when I was 12 seems all doom and gloom
And – don’t get me wrong – I was and still am – devastated
But it actually made me a more grateful person
And I probably wouldn’t be who I am today if it wouldn’t have happened 🤔
I realised just how hard my dad was working to provide for the family (as I grew older)
It made me ‘grow up’ and help out with things like cooking and cleaning
^^^ I’ll never forget getting the pasta and meatballs ready for 5pm 😂
You see, when you give so-called ‘bad things’ time to ‘digest’
It’s never as bad as you made it out to be.
With every bad, is an opportunity…
Now, I’m not going to pretend it’s easy
Because it’s clearly not
But when you just nurse, rehearse and curse a ‘bad’ situation
Are you just wasting energy on something you can’t change?
Energy that could go into YOU, your kids, family and loved ones?
So, next time you put on a pound when you look down at the scales….
Wait 3 days or so
It’ll probably be back off…
Or
Evaluate what happened over the last week…
Did you do your exercise?
Stick to your nutrition plan?
Learn, adapt, grow and harvest the good
See it as a reminder of what you need to do
And after 3 days of evaluation…
then – and only then – give yourself permission to nurse and curse yourself
Happy Mother’s Day
Matt
Month: March 2019
“I want to feel more confident” (2 things to do)
So this week
I’ve lectured at Oxford Brookes University to Postgraduate nutrition students on nutrition and how to get people to do the things they know they need to do…
I’ve had 6 one to one coaching sessions with ladies on our programmes
and delivered 9 group sessions for ladies over 40 in Marlborough…
Now, the reason i’m sharing this is because even 3 years ago
the thought of this would be make so scared…
I’d be downing rescue remedies
and going dry in the mouth…
But now?
It excites me!
In fact, I love it so much
and have had such success in Marlborough
That I’ve got a brand new programme launching in Burbage in April
(reply if you want some more info on that..we only have 12 spaces)
So what’s changed?
Why – all of a sudden – can I now speak in front of people?
Without going red, dry in the mouth?
Well, 2 things have changed
(as I explain in this video below which I would not have dreamed of recording a few years back as I’d be too nervous)
[responsive_video type=’youtube’ hide_related=’1′ hide_logo=’0′ hide_controls=’0′ hide_title=’0′ hide_fullscreen=’0′ autoplay=’0′]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvspsR-jML4&feature=youtu.be[/responsive_video]
but in short:
1) I know longer compare myself my best day
2) I understand that my confidence and self esteem is MY subjective opinion of my own self worth…so it is up to me how I set the benchmark here.
I can compare myself to others on social media (who just share their best days)
Judge myself on how I look…(which isn’t actually as important to me as being a great dad and husband, helping someone improve their life and mindset, create freedom from diets)
Base how I should act in certain situations on what I think others expect (which I’m not sure is even true…)
My point is that you get what you focus on…
and unfortunately, if your ‘confidence’ or self esteem’ is based on beliefs that you don’t even know are true?
This might stop you doing the things you want to do to look and feel better…
and given that confidence comes from DOING…
so you gather proof and evidence that you can do something…
could you start by questioning your subjective opinion on your own self worth and where it comes from?
Matt
The cholesterol lowering diet
(that’s equivalent to 3 bowls of porridge per day, however…)
2) Unsaturated fats – swapping saturated / trans fats for polyunsaturated, such as oily fish, olive oils and nuts, or monounsaturated fats, such as avocado and olive oils can have cholesterol lowering effects (you could also fry with ‘fry light’ instead of butter / coconut oil)
That said, saturated fats seems to have a neutral effect…so I’m not saying you have to avoid them.
They are found in veggies and nuts.
However, you’d probably need to eat a ton of these to get the amount needed for the ‘cholesterol lowering’ effect (hence the yoghurts etc..but even them, you still have to eat quite a bit of the stuff)
And is perhaps a better indicator than TOTAL CHOLESTEROL…
as every kilogram of weight loss is associated with a DECREASE in your bad cholesterol and an INCREASE in your GOOD cholesterol
than just hoping that a few cholesterol lowering yoghurts will do the trick….
Especially as one study found that half of the patients aged 40-54 with ‘normal cholesterol’
still had high risks of heart disease
suggesting that it’s not all about this one number
and that everything from your stress management, exercise habits, eating and sleep
Are probably all things we can look to improve today
no matter how small…
progress is progress.
Matt
I feel like [insert here]
“I feel like…
– rubbish
– $#*!
– I’m so far behind
– I’ve got too much to do
– there’s not enough time
me…too
And the funny thing is that whenever you say ‘I feel like’
you are about to use an analogy…
which means it isn’t actually true.
I mean you cannot feel like $#*! unless you truly know what that feels like, right?
And it often leads to that
‘why bother?…F it…” mindset…
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve said that…
Be it when I first started Fruci Fit & left working at Public Health
when trying to public speak, applying for PhD’s and being rejected, struggling to get a job after uni when I almost thought I was entitled to a job…I could go on…
And I get similar messages from a lot of the ladies I work with when it comes to this health and fitness stuff.
The struggle to STAY motivated. Keep going. Especially when stuff comes up in life that knocks in the face…
They want to change. They know something has to change, be it their mindset, relationship with food, or exercise habits
But there’s something blocking them…stopping them from sticking to something long enough to see sustainable results.
They’ll often ‘shame’ themselves into doing it. Think that if they make themselves feel bad enough? They’ll change.
‘I’m rubbish. Why can’t I do it? They’re so much better than me…I’m lazy’
But if this doesn’t work?
We go on to the ‘blame’ game…
‘It’s their fault for leaving chocolates out’
parents fault…
I have no time…
I’m not fit enough…
and we bounce back between shaming ourselves to do something
or
Blaming work, life, family and even kids…
(I’ve done this, too)
So what do I recommend?
Well, something we do inside our Fit For Life Body Transformation Programme is to make it a game
So you can keep score..and see the facts
Separate these FACTS from feelings…
And see exactly where you’re going wrong and where you need to improve
(rather than shame or blame…)
Focus on getting a LITTLE bit better everyday .
Essentially, you are accepting responsibility and accepting where you are now
So you can focus on being better TODAY than you were yesterday
To increase your capacity to handle stress (as stress is not going anywhere..)
Respond to situations (like the number on the scales) rather than REACT…and think F it…
To do the things you know you need to do to get the results you want…
to get more energy and feel more confident…
So what do we do?
You score yourself each week on your :
Food – this is personal to you. It could be that you didn’t eat in your car today? You stuck to 3 meals with no snacks? did you hit your plan to give your body the nutrients it needs to get more energy?
Fitness – This could be that you did one of our home workouts? Attended a session with me? 10k steps? Look after your body, it’ll look after you
Focus – did you do something for YOU. Take some time out. Do something that makes you feel good today? after, if you don’t do anything that makes you feel good, can you really expect to feel good?
All I can say is that I wouldn’t recommend something I don’t do or that isn’t evidenced based to save you time, help you lose fat, and feel better about the way you look and feel.
And this is essentially the principles behind what the ladies use here
That we use to make it YOUR plan…not mine. Based on your lifestyle.
Which means you’ll probably be more like to stick to it.
So whatever you do today..
just remember that better is still better.
And if nothing changes, nothing changes…
Matt ‘F it’ Fruci
Are problems actually problems?
2 Identified Problems – No Plan
3 Identified Problems – With Plan
4 Solved Problems
as one of you said to me today just how amazing it is to see other ladies sometimes not feel motivated, help each other if they are having a bad day, and being OK with that…rather than thinking you must be the only one who sometimes wakes up demotivated and can’t be bothered..
and this is enough to help keep them going…
Something they have never done for this long…”
Anyway, best shoot…
Early morning sessions for the ladies kicking off soon :-)
(it’s arms and bum day…)
PS. You can grab a free copy of my book HERE
PPS. Watch How Cassie From Wiltshire Went From Mobility Scooter To Running Her First 5k & Fitting Back In Her Favourite Clothes Without Long, Boring Workouts Or Giving Up Her Favourite Foods >> CLICK HERE TO WATCH
16 ways to beat hunger (today)
“H-anger’ as Mrs Fruci refers to as I get grumpy waiting for my dinner to arrive at a restaurant haha
2) Get out of the kitchen – For every 4 minutes EXTRA spent in the kitchen, you’ll eat an extra 80 calories of food
3) Eat your protein – Protein is THE most filling nutrient. Are you eating enough? Meats, eggs, fish, dairy, legumes, protein powders and beans all good sources
4) Try sugar free drinks – Now, I’m not saying fizzy drinks are great for you, but pick your ‘poison’. If having a diet drink / low cal hot chocolate stops you going for the cake every night (or afternoon), then it’s probably going to be better for you! Want a better option? Try sparkling water with a slice of lemon!
5) Eat your veggies – They’re full of fibre which keeps you full. Plus, the antioxidants boost your immune system, give you more energy and help you fight off common illnesses!
6) Have a coffee – Drink coffee. Preferably only 1-3 caffeinated ones per day as I don’t want you wired on caffeine all of the time and struggling to sleep. BUT, coffee – both decaf and caffeinated – can be a great way to suppress hunger and overcome ‘habitual eating’ <<< where you eat when you’re bored / emotionally stressed! It’s also full of antioxidants…
10) eat breakfast- yep…some people feel more full up with breakfast. Try yoghurt or eggs to increase protein (this might fill you up)
13) Are you eating ENOUGH? You might simply not be eating enough so – surprise, surprise – you feel hungry. Perhaps you need to focus on something else other than trying to eat less all of the time and beating yourself up failing…and binging? Perhaps, give yourself a little more to eat to make it more simple?
14) Go for a walk – this not only makes you feel better (because you get outside and away from all of those pointless emails…), it can also stop you from feeling hungry and give your hunger hormones time to go down after eating a meal! It’s also a great way to catch up with a friend.
15) set up your environment to make it easy – if you know your trigger time is when you finish work and get home? Could you have a snack like some fruit in the car on the way home? go for a walk when you first get in to wind down from work and control the stress eating?
but.
these can only work if you try them…
so which one will you do today?
This used to scare me
So after our morning sessions for the ladies on our Fit For Life Programme, I’m off to deliver a lecture today to nutrition students at Oxford Brookes University
On essentially:
‘how to get people to do the things they already know”
Such an interesting topic.
Like…no one really needs any more info.
We just need to do what we know, right?
But the funny this is (and probably the reason I keep getting asked back to deliver these lectures)
Something I’m realising more and more every day
Is how I’m actually full of 💩
You see, I used to have the biggest fear of public speaking.
I’d go red in the face. Mouth dry. Clammy hands. I’d want the world to swallow me up.
I’d even end up on the toilet with nerves and anxiety.
Id rather be anywhere (even in the House of Commons listening to Brexit)
I’d even phone in sick for presentations at university.
All because I thought others would be thinking that I looked silly.
That I wasn’t smart enough.
But you know the funny thing?
I don’t know much more about this fitness, health and dieting stuff now than I did when I was at university..
Yet, I’m now helping more ladies than ever with our Fit Fit For Life Programme…
And I’m being asked to deliver education to Type 2 diabetes patients
As well guest lecturing at universities…
All because I stopped believing the “stories” about how I wasn’t good enough.
And it reminded me of that it’s actually not a lack of knowledge that stops you getting the health, fitness and body you want
But simply the stories and beliefs you tell yourself.
That are so powerful
your behaviour conforms to them.
And they might make you feel better in the short term…
But do nothing for you long term.
And I still get nervous now..
I accept that.
But I know that if I let nerves hold me back?
I am basically saying that my nerves / my beliefs are more important than helping you (and me)…
Which you could say, is pretty selfish?
So, what stories are holding you back and stopping you from getting the fitness, energy, health, and body you want?
What do you need help with?
I’m generally curious.
Matt ‘nervous excited’ Fruci
PS. You can grab a free copy of my book HERE
PPS. Watch How Cassie From Wiltshire Went From Mobility Scooter To Running Her First 5k & Fitting Back In Her Favourite Clothes Without Long, Boring Workouts Or Giving Up Her Favourite Foods >> CLICK HERE TO WATCH
Stop saying ‘sorry’
So my 2 year old daughter occasionally just says:
‘sorry’
For no apparent reason…
Just – I guess – copying from me or Mrs Fruci?
Who, knows..
Maybe I should stop saying ‘sorry’ so much
for often doing nothing wrong…
in fact, sometimes we feel bad for getting results???
Just in case it offends someone else
Or gets seen like you are ‘bragging’
worrying about making other people feel bad for doing NOTHING..
it’s almost like we DO apologise for what we’ve managed to pull off…
(I imagine there’s even mums out there today apologising for receiving presents on Mothers Day <<< JUST SAY THANK YOU…you do an amazing job!! in fact, you do all of the jobs haha so at least for today just let the Mr do it…)
But the problem with never appreciating your results and what you do well?
It DRAINS your confidence
think about it.. NOT appreciating how far you’ve come has you focused on what you still have to do or what HASN’T worked
and confidence.. is one of the most important things we all want, right?
as it makes it easier to ‘say’ to the things we want to do
we feel better
happier
So I just thought I’d stet out of my comfort zone and ‘brag’ with a few things I’m proud of doing over the last few years:
* Nailed my public speaking fear and now get invited to speak at Oxford Brookes University as a guest lecturer and deliver NHS education for people with Type 2 diabetes
* Helped over 300 ladies develop a positive relationship with food and the so-called ‘perfection’ they were looking for, feel better and kickstart themselves into better fitness and eating habits to finally look and feel how they want to feel (LIKE THESE LADIES HERE)
* I became a dad to two amazing daughters 🙂
* I’m now helping more people the I ever have done with their nutrition and exercise habits even though I never thought I’d ‘have time’ when I became dad of 2 under 2 🙂
* Published my book first book, SHIFT: Simple Guide To Helping Busy Ladies Think Differently and Get Their Bodies Back (which is available on Amazon)
* I have a Vegan book covering all of the nutritional considerations and 100 recipes ( I’m not actually vegan but I know it can help people)
* Have my first children’s story book coming out next month which I did with my wife (which will also be on Amazon and is kind of for parents just as much as kids…)
* We’ve got our own Fruci Fit app, manual, Big Brother accountability system to help you ( and me) get out of your own way and stay accountable to the things you know you need to do.
* I date my 2 year old daughter twice a week one to one (rugby tots and coffee or park date)
and probably some other things…
and the fact is, my struggles and problems along the way have actually GROWN …
You see, whereas I thought achieving more would get rid of my problems…
They’ve actually grown…
I have more problems than ever…
But that’s what allowed me to continue growing and learning and helping more people all whilst having an amazing family.
And when I receive messages like this from Ali..
it’s no wonder I get up so early to make sure I do what I have to do achieve my goal of helping 100 people every, single month:
The exercise videos great.
just email matt@frucifit.com with the subject line ‘4 week’ and I’ll get you the details
Matt ‘sorry’ Fruci
Sacrificing ‘good’ for ‘perfect’
Especially if you’re a bit like me and always feel like you could be getting something else done..
It’s like you’re losing time, right?
Well, the other day we went for a family day out to Eureka (a children’s museum)
But after we finally parked…
(Luckily I wasn’t driving as I’m not sure I’d have ever got in that parking space haha)
There was one of those signs saying:
“1 hour from this point” 😱😱
The thing is, it is what it is.
There’s nothing I can do about the queue
But when we noticed people seemingly jumping the queue…
I was getting curious..
Looking around
Ear dropping on HOW they got in front of me haha…
I mean, if you can get something quicker?
You want to know about it, right?
Well, it turns out that people who booked online, could jump the queue…
So there I was,
beating myself for not booking online…
Until the person in front said the most obvious thing ever…
‘we’re booking on our phones now”
So simple…
Yet I didn’t even think to do it…
And it saved us an hour of just standing there in a queue with two babies…
So why am I sharing this with you?
Well, for me?
it’s just like what I see happening with all these fitness and diet ’regimes’…
AKA
overcomplicating things:
Telling you to just cut sugar, never eat after 6pm, eat hemp protein, never eat eggs, go vegan or even only eat meat (aka the carnivore diet)
Rather just focussing on the SIMPLE basics that you already know….
like drinking more water?
Eating 5 different vegetables a day?
Getting more protein in your diet, be it from meat, fish, dairy, beans, lentils, protein powder, or lentils…it doesn’t really matter..
Not beating yourself up for having a latte and a piece of cake?
Knowing that eating out doesn’t mean your whole week is a failure?
Understanding that you don’t have to be fit to exercise?
You see, I can guarantee that you’ll get to your goals A LOT quicker
Even if you don’t do it all of the time..
Have some rubbish days..
You can just add these days to the ‘learn from this’ day
and do something about it…
(just like I’ll be booking online next time we go haha)
Rather than looking and waiting for the perfect time or diet…
and expecting everything to be perfect…
Because the truth is:
“if nothing changes, nothing changes”
So unless you do something, even the things you already know?
Your health, fitness and how you feel probably won’t get any better.
And I’m only saying this because everyday I see and receive a load of messages from people saying just how much their life has changed from becoming
fitter and stronger, doing the basics, developing a positive relationship with food, and adding small habits into their life which weren’t as scary as they thought..
And they’re so proud of themselves that they have found something they can actually DO…
Which is amazing for their confidence, energy and motivation to want to do even more…
Matt ‘queue jump’ Fruci
Does the good cause the bad? (how to shift from the dieting mindset)
Have you ever had that ‘one’ last blowout on all the foods you love before starting a new diet?
Me, too…
Peanut butter. Bread. Cereal. Pizza. Cake. Biscuits. Pringles. Avocados (if you are into syns))
You name it..
And it’s not uncommon for some of the ladies who I’ve worked with to tell me how they eat their kids chocolates and have to replace them (multiple times) before this ‘new diet’ comes along..
Or they say things like:
‘I’ll have to have to get rid of all of the chocolates in the cupboard before I start, Matt”…
You see, you are NOT ALONE..
even though you probably know from reading my stuff that NO FOOD IS OFF LIMITS…
It is only human nature to associate a new diet with scarcity / deprivation.
Which results in you thinking that you need to stock up.
They term it ‘The Last Supper Effect”
With research showing that when they tell people that they are about to go on a diet?
they gain weight in the time they were told about the diet and the time to start.
So where does this come from?
Well, it’s the ‘diet’ culture.
They tell you to restrict certain foods. That foods are bad.
That you have to suffer…
So what’s the way around this?
Well, the research shows to STOP restricting foods.
(for most people)
The most ironic part for me is how restricting so called ‘bad’ foods to be healthier…results in behaviours, like binging, which are actually worse for your health…
In fact, some of the ladies I work with mention how they just eat anything and everything when they start a diet.
Even foods they wouldn’t normally eat…
And I’m not saying this whole thing is easy..
But it doesn’t have to be harder than it needs to me…
As in my experience with working with the amazing ladies on our programme (such as these ladies here)
The ones that get the best results are the ones that understand it is ok to not be perfect
and don’t let that derail their day, week and month…
So they can stick to something for long enough to see the results they finally want
In how they look and feel.
And speaking of which
Our 4-Week kickstart programme opens up again soon.
If you would like more info on this, just press reply with the subject line ‘4 week’ and I’ll get you the details.
Matt ‘last supper’ Fruci